Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I'm having a day!

I’m having a crazy day... I want to run and hold very, very still. I want to scream till it hurts, then turn and whisper secrets. I want to hide in a dark hole and strut through a huge crowd.

I’m having a bewildering, frustrating, confusing, and incredibly maddening day.

I hope yours is better.

Monday, August 30, 2010

They will not force us...

This is a shout out to Alias: Pandora. After yesterday’s conversation I felt this song was a appropriate mantra in regards to one of the discussed situations.


Muse - Uprising

Rise up and take the power back, it's time that
The fat cats had a heart attack, you know that
Their time is coming to an end, we have to
Unify and watch our flag ascend, so come on

Uprising - Track 1 - The Resistance - Muse

Enjoy all!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Getting to Know You...

I get these quizzes all the time! But, I just thought it would be fun to share it here so everyone can know a little more about me. Wow, I feel so self-centered right now! LOL!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:47

2. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Eat Pray Love

4. What is your favorite TV show? Fringe

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Starbucks Chai and a croissant

6. What is your middle name? Alta Marie… Means: High/lofty, sorrow

7. What food do you dislike? If it's got rosemary in it, on it, or around it... I'M NOT EATING IT!!!!

8. What is your favorite CD at moment? Hard to say… Elbow – Seldom Seen Kid, OneRepublic – Waking Up, Muse – The Resistance, etc.

9. What kind of car do you drive? Black Dodge Nitro - She's my little Beasty

10. Favorite sandwich? Egg Sandwich = Texas toast, Cheese, Mayo, Butter, and EGGS (So Good!)

11. What characteristic do you despise? Hypocrites & Liars... You Suck!

12. Favorite item of clothing? Scarves, Cardigans, jeans, and... more Scarves.

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Great Britain

14. Favorite Brand of Clothing? Columbia

15. Where would you retire to? Somewhere with lots of trees, secluded, so I can turn up my music as loud as I want without disturbing the neighbors. Poor deer... PETA is gonna be pissed!

16. What was your most memorable birthday? 27th

17. Favorite sport to watch? Ultimate Fighting - There something about men with cauliflower ear that makes my knees weak!

18. Furthest place you are sending this? Over the rainbow...

19. Person you expect to send it back first? Ghandi... seriously, I'm gonna get all kinds of violent if he doesn’t respond.

20. When is your birthday? Nine days before Christmas, two years after Mt. St. Helen's got all pissy!

21. Are you a morning person or a night person? Depends on the amount/quality of sleep

22. What is your shoe size? 6.5 to 7.5

23. Pets? Not a one! No Fish, No Bird, No Cat, No Dog… :(

24. Any new and exciting news you 'd like to share with us? I’m researching and reading like a crazy person. (Think Damon might have me committed if it gets much worse.)

25. What did you want to be when you were little? Singer, Writer, Archeologist, guitar/piano player, circus acrobat, with big lips and blond hair. (Feel free to judge)

26. How are you today? Frankly... I'm hangin on by my fingernails

27. What is your favorite candy? Bit-O-Honey

28. What is your favorite flower? Garden – Lilacs Delivery – Stargazer Lilies

29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? March 17 (I love St. Pattie’s Day!!!)

30. What's your full name? Don’t think I’ll say…

31. What are you listening to right now? Shakira - She Wolf

32. What was the last thing you ate? Starbucks Chai and a Breakfast Sandwich

33. Do you wish on stars? Not so much anymore, but I still look up.

34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Blue Violet

35. How is the weather right now? Warm and Sunny :)

36. What is your natural hair color? Dirt in a terracotta pot = red brown

37. Favorite soft drink? Chai

38. Favorite restaurant? Texas Road House

39. What color of nail polish? Crimson Death (Black with Red flakes in it)

40. What was your favorite toy as a child? My Teddy Bear Kerby

41. Summer or winter? Spring - April showers, bring May flowers... and mud puddles!

42. Hugs or kisses? Both

43. Chocolate or Vanilla? I thought segregation was over?!?

44. Coffee or tea? Chai (This answer is honest, but soooo redundant!)

45. Do you want your friends to email you back? NO, that would be really terrible! Don't do it!

46. When was the last time you cried? 2 Months/1 Week/1 Day

47. What is under your bed? Portal to another world. Jealous?

48. What did you do last night? Cuddled with Damon and read my book.

49. What are you afraid of? I'm not strong enough... "The man who never weakens when things are against him will grow stronger and stronger until all things will delight to be for him. He will finally have all the strength he may desire or need. Be always strong and you will always be stronger." - Christian D Larson

50. Salty or sweet? sweet

51. How many keys on your key ring? 6

52. How many years at your current job? 3 years

53. Favorite day of the week? Don’t have on anymore

54. How many towns have you lived in? 6

55. Do you make friends easily? Acquaintances are easy, Friends are harder.

Enjoy your weekend!
(And Yes, I know I got a little carried away with all the pretty colors, LOL!)

Thursday, August 26, 2010

My Face Hurts From Smiling…


I'm so proud of me today! I'm tired (again) but soooo proud.

As an undiagnosed dyslexic I tend to read things very slowly. I also tend to reread a lot of things to make certain that I read a sentence or paragraph correctly. (That slows me down even further!) I’ve spent years being jealous of people who could pick up a book and read it quick as a flash. (Mostly you Alias: Phrixus, you and your genius ways!! Not only can you pick up a damn book and read it faster than anyone I know… You could do a five page book report, with quotes and all, without the book... From Memory. NOT THE KIND OF PERFORMANCE I LIKE FOLLOWING AS THE SECOND CHILD!!!)

“O yeah, it only took me a day or so to read that…” (That phrase usually makes me want to scream!)

I‘ve spent my life in the shadow of brilliant readers. First, I was just trying to keep up… then I was trying to be just as wickedly clever… but finally, now, I’m just striving to attain their intellectual status. Sucks when 99.999% of you closest relatives are the smartest people you’ve ever met! (And I’ve met a lot of people! (Hell, I married one of the only people I’ve ever known that could rival Phrixus in intelligence. (I’m a glutton for punishment!)))

But, for the last four years I’ve been retraining myself to except me for me. To not care how I measure up against others, but how I measure in personal growth and change. Now, I'm aware of how I feel, what I want, and who I want to be! …I want to be a person who says, “That book was great and it only took me a day or so to read it.”

Well folks, on Tuesday I picked up a book I’ve been waiting to read for the last six months. It's of the paranormal genre and is 430 pages long.

- I started reading at 6:30 pm Tuesday
- I stopped at 12:00 am
- I started reading again at 5:30 pm Wednesday
- I stopped for and hour to eat dinner with Damon
- And... at 2:00 am this morning… I FINISHED THE BOOK!

I’m the person I want to be! I can honestly say “I read that (430 page) book in a day or so and it was wonderful!” (Actually it was more like 13 hours, but who’s counting!!) My point is, I measure up to where I want to be! Today, I’m proud not just of me, but to be me!
Cue glowing smile!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Bad Night's Sleep...


So... Alias: Damon had a "Bros Night" last night and this little woman has grievances:

1. Beer mixed with sleep breath is soooo not attractive (No morning kiss for you!)
2. The snoring was unbelievably loud (I think my eardrums bled a little!)
3. The random grunts and chaotic twitching (Kept me awake till well past 11:30.)

So… today I’m a tired, pissy, slightly less optimistic writer, who is trying to find the will to keep her eyelids up and her mind focused. (O, Hell I'd settle for functioning!) However, at least I’m not married to this Guy! (You have to follow this link!! This Guy, Adam, talks in his sleep and his wife records his little pearls of wisdom so we can all enjoy! The first time I visited I laughed so hard I choked!)

Consider my blessings counted! And Thanks Honey for keeping the your narcoleptic verbal diarrhea an internal dialog.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

A Revelation

Holy Wow! For those of you who aren’t religious… take it from me… the book of Revelations is nuts! I tend to be more of a spiritual person, than a religious person, so I haven’t read the bible cover to cover. But, to start with Revelations… that might not have been the smartest idea I ever had. I’m a little… NOPE, strike that… I’m a lot more nervous of God now!

For those of you who like being read to as much as I do… Check the following reading of The Book of Revelations. It's in nine segments and I really enjoyed it. :)

Rev. 21 [4] And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

Rev. 22 [3] And there shall be no more curse: but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it; and his servants shall serve him:[4] And they shall see his face; and his name shall be in their foreheads.[5] And there shall be no night there; and they need no candle, neither light of the sun; for the Lord God giveth them light: and they shall reign forever and ever.

Well maybe I shouldn’t be that nervous after all! - Surely I come quickly. Amen

Monday, August 23, 2010

Unpain Your Brain

Happy Monday!! For those of you that are wondering, I'm doing tons better this week. But, I don't have much time to blog this morning (I really need to catch up on my missed work). So, I thought I'd post the answers for the August 10th quiz! :)

Who drinks water? Egyption
Who owns the zebra? Japanese
Highlight next to the question to find the answer.

If you haven't given the quiz a shot... DO IT!! It's so much fun. I actually couldn't find the answers so I had to take the quiz again. I finished in 11 minutes 36 seconds. LOL! How about you? Leave a comment so we can all publicly bask in the glory of our brilliance! Ha Ha

Regardless, I hope you had fun figuring it out! :)

Friday, August 20, 2010

Yes! NEW THOUGHTS... but my fanciful thought processes on human illness are rather unpleasant, so I won’t be discussing them here.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

No new thoughts due to illness.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

If I Could...

These hours are filled with pain for so many people that I love. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you find this poem the comfort it is meant to be.

Sorrows come and sorrows go,
But it’s we who reap the crops they sow.

The leaving does not look behind,
For the mourning it would always find.

But we remain, the mood of black,
For the soul that will not be coming back.

We bow our heads and start to pray,
The price of lonely, our tears to pay.

But, to be one away and watch you fall,
Is my tragic climb up a crimson wall.

I would bear this for you, if I could,
But in misfortune there is promised good.

The horizon glows if you dare to look,
Because God does not live in a Holy book.

He is in the moon’s burning light,
A comfort though this darkest night.

This gift is given when your hope is lost,
It is given freely and without cost.

For you are supported by a sacred host,
The Father, Son, and The Holy Ghost.


- Alexandria Englander-Tuttle

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

New Research...

So, I’ve been working on my current series of books since Dec 2006. It hasn’t been easy and the blame for that definitely falls on me! (Fear is a bitch with a soprano voice and liars lips!) I kept finding reasons to hold back instead of charging ahead. So, by the time I felt like I was ready to sprint ahead with a true foundation under me, my ideas felt more like old dreams instead of the new visions. (Crazy thing is, I’m a recklessly creative person, I never hold back. So I don’t’ know what the hell stopped me this time!)

More recently I’ve been trying very hard to get back to that place; that magic idea stop. (Again, it hasn’t been easy!) I’m the kind of writer that feels everything! And if the right energies not there… then the writing is forced and IT SUCKS! (Eloquent, I know.) So, how do a light a fire under the ass of this project? (Cause, I'm damn close to tapping-out, if you know what I mean.)

BUT TODAY… Today I had this entirely new idea! Bonus: I already have most of the research materials I’ll need. AND (My Grandparents are going to LOVE this… The Bible is going to be one of my go to resources.) Three guesses what this stories about!?! :)

Anyway, this point is twofold:

1. Maybe I let my own fear KILLED my first series or maybe it’s just asleep, I'm not sure yet. But what I do know is that kicking the hell out of it isn’t fixing anything and it’s making me miserable! So, I’m just gonna keep the faith that that wonderful idea will ignite again someday and when it does… I’ll be happy to bask in the glory of Elithdun once more!


2. For now, THIS TIME, with this very bright, very shiny, new idea... I just don’t care what anyone thinks! NOT what you say! NOT what he does! I’m riding this idea as far as it will take me!

Dear God, I hope I'm strong enough to hold on this time!

Monday, August 16, 2010

A Random Weekend Chronicle

Ever tried to chronicle your weekend adventures? Well this is my attempt and I hope it's as fun to read/look at, as it was for me to... traverse. :)

Friday was a wonderful shotgun starting line. My husband (Alias: Damon) was my dinner date at a local pizza/Italian sports bar. We drank beer, ate good food, played footsy under the table, and texted to our hearts content.
We also attempted a bit of a shopping spree. My many treasures can be seen below. (The case is for my makeup. The Black/Gray/White fabric is my newest scarf. The other pictures are self explanatory.)
Damon’s Treasures were far more masculine and post shopping Zakk Wylde soundtracked the evening. (If you haven’t listened to BLS before… Wow… give it a chance. (FYI - This music would be classified in the same genre as Ozzy Osbourne.))

To finish the night… we watched Clash of The Titans. However, Damon fell asleep within the first 45 minutes. LOL! I really liked the movie, but holy cows, pigs, chickens, AND a horse (for good measure)… Sam Worthington has the skinniest “man legs” I’ve ever seen!!! I just could not get over it. Thank goodness they put those greaves on his legs or I’d never have noticed the rest of the movie! J/K (Sort of)... It was worth the watching.

So, Saturday dawned bright and chipper. Damon had to work; leaving me with hours to venture forth and enjoy a solo day. (I, of course, wore my new headband, scarf, and purse for my outing.) I started with an 11:15 showing of Eat Pray Love. I HIGHLY recommend this movie! It was everything it was promised to be and everything I could have asked for. Bonus: It left me with a feeling of HOPE! (Love it when movies do that.)
Then I visited a local art show. I found so many gorgeous things and met so many wonderful people. And yes....I did impulsively purchase a few BEAUTIFUL things for myself.

When I returned home I curled up in the sunshine with the current book I’m reading. (OMG, I LOVE THIS SERIES!!! When I grow up I want to be just like Anita Blake! (At lease up to book 9.)LOL)
I fell asleep for about an hour, until Damon finally made it home. :) He woke me up with a big hug and kiss! Then he promptly feel asleep! LOL, giving me even more quiet time with my book.
When the sun started going down I decided not to waste the twilight. I grabbed my keys and headed to the park for a stroll. It was lovely and when I got home Damon was awake. (Finally)

Sunday morning found me very grumpy and in need of work. So... I sent Damon out to have fun while I worked my hands raw. A very good friend of mine calls it a nesting episode when I start cleaning like a loon. LOL! (BTW: Thank you Lord for Clorox wipes!!!)

Five hours later, found our apartment very, VERY clean and me reading in the sunshine again. Damon came home, made a wonderful dinner, and we watched From Paris with Love. The movie was great and NO... this opinion is not based on the fact that I find Jonathan Rhys Meyers to be… very, VERY Pretty! (LOL, Damon would try to convince you otherwise.)
Today, Monday, found me waking to one of my very favorite things…FOG. I love it! It makes the world seem mysterious and it smells amazing. This was the Southern view out my apartment window. So... a chronicled adventure from beginning to end. It would probably be far more exciting if I were traveling. (I'll have to keep it in mind for my next nomadic outing.) Anywho, A Very Happy Foggy Monday to You!
P.S. A very Happy Birthday to my Mother (Alias: Chloris).

Friday, August 13, 2010

The Golden Soldier

This song is… amazing.

“We’ll have the days we break,
And we’ll have the scars to prove it,
We’ll have the bonds that we save,
But we’ll have the heart not to lose it.

For all of the times we’ve stopped,
For all of the things I’m not.

We put one foot in front of the other,
We move like we ain’t got no other,
We go when we go,
We’re marching on.”


Marchin On – OneRepublic – Waking Up - Track 10



I absolutely love this song! (This video is pretty fantastic too!) It's just hard to describe my feelings. It’s beautiful, but… I feel… gritty when I listen to it.

Just like everyone else I have a past full of pitfalls… things that were disastrous, catastrophic, and just plain tragic. But the one thing I still cling to is… I NEVER GAVE UP. I’m a… serve you your own ass... card carrying... grade A... FIGHTER!

Maybe it’s the artist in me? Maybe I’m just masochistic! But I keep all those awful feelings just as close as I keep all the good. It’s ALL still there. The Good, The Bad, and The Very Ugly. It’s all still there changing me, molding me, reminding me what it means to be here... to be me.

Where I was wrong, Where I was right,
Where the world changed, over-night.


This song feels like a battle cry to that dented part of me. That part that’s just too damn stubborn to lie down and die. That steely part that turns into the storm… That granite part that laughs when the sky starts raining down… That resolute part of me, that spreads golden wings when it all falls apart.

With all of the wars I fought
And so many things I’m not...
With what I have,
I'll promise you that,
I’m Marchin On!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Bloody Knuckles

I used my chipped water basin and an old lump of cloth to wash the dust from my face, the back of my neck, my arms and my hands. My right hand had swelled just a bit, but nothing was broken and I knew it would be perfect again in an hour or two. I glanced up and caught my reflection in the ancient mirror. I never used the mirror; I just plain did care what I looked like. But just now I did! My eyes were glowing like a cat’s shining night eyes; not even close to my normal leafy green. I leaned forward to inspect myself and a thump came from the door. My heart jumped into my throat and tried to make a home between my vocal cords. It took me a moment to breathe again.

My God! I had no idea this was why people were afraid. No one had ever really explained it. Not even Henry’s once-upon-a-time explanation, “Your eyes are scary when you’re mad,” that didn’t even scratch the surface of what I was seeing. Course I think I was pissed off about having to ask Henry anything in the first place. If memory served… he’d run, not walked, but run like hell right after he given me an answer. Stupid little coward that he was, I had to give him credit for sticking around long enough to answer the question. My eyes were creepy as sin... What the hell was wrong will me!

I was starting to panic. I put my hands to my face and pushed on my cheeks. I pulled the skin below my eyes and opened my lids as wide as they’d go. The thumping started again and turned quickly into pounding. I watched as my eyes glowed brighter and I realized I was pissed that someone was arrogant enough to hammer on MY DOOR! So, this is what all the fuss was about… fine, time to have some fun.

I stalked to the door and wrenched it open. “WHAT!”

Martin, huge dark man that he was, took half a step back and dropped his fist back to his side. It was hard not to laugh at the look on his face. Shock and shit scared. It relaxed something in my chest to finally understand why people reacted that way to me.

“Can we talk?” He asked.

“Why the hell not.” I was having fun but I needed to rein this in. Martin was a Choose and one of the few leaders that didn’t demand my expulsion from the encampment. I literally bit my tongue and raised my arm in a mocking invitation.

He hesitated for an instant, but it was only a moment and then he stepped passed me. I followed the door as I closed it and when I turned he was inspecting the inside of me little home. His eyes scrutinize the hearth covered in the same ornate carvings as my little door. Then it was the two spinally wooden chairs, then the gnarled bed in the corner. Everything was neat and orderly, but it took me a moment to realize that Martin hadn’t been in here since my mother’s death.

He turned to me, “You haven’t changed much in here.” The way he said it made it a question, like he really wanted an answer. Maybe he did. He was avoiding eye contact by inspecting the bundled herbs that I’d hung from the ceiling.

His eyes snapped to mine as I replied, “Why would I change things?” My voice was a monotone.

“I don’t know. I’d just expected…” his words trailed off and I suddenly knew what he expected. He thought I was a cold bitch. He thought I didn’t give a damn and maybe part of that was true. But not when it came to this place, my parent’s place, my only home.

“There’s nothing to change.” My words were quiet, but they were firm. As I said them I realized it hurt that I had to defend myself over this.

“Oh.” Was his only reply and I raise my eyebrows. Wow, how could a Choosen be this ineloquent? I was ready to be alone.

“Is there something you want, Martin?” I wasn’t mad anymore and as I spoke I turned to catch my reflection in the mirror; my eyes were back to their leafy green. Martin noticed me looking. The skin between his eyes wrinkled like he was trying to solve a riddle, but didn’t say anything. Smart Man.

The silence lengthened and his expression was hard when he finally answered, “You socked Henry pretty good.” Once again his words were more like a harsh question than just bitter observation. I didn’t reply. “He’s already starting to bruise.” Again, I didn’t reply and the pause lengthened. “He’s having a hard time talking… You might have broken his jaw, Harding’s still checking on him.” Harding was the camps doctor. He was a good man even if he never wanted anything to do with me. I could live with that.

It didn't escape my notice that Martin was baiting me into a reply. I decided to answer, but only because I knew he didn't really expected me to. Shock value! His eyes grew a size when I opened my mouth, “Henry’s jaw isn’t broken and Harding can check all he likes." My voice was almost sing-song, "He’ll be sore for a week or so. It’ll be hard for him to talk and his face will look like hell." I was smiling, "But it’s not broken. Little bastard should count his lucky stars. He left me in the middle of nowhere! No Food, No Shelter, No Help! I walked for a full day and when I finally get back here and he's laughing...” Martin looked shocked, like I’d grown a third arm while I spoke. I knew it wasn’t just that I’d replied or even what I was telling him; this was a speech coming from me. I was never much for talking and considering I never had anyone to talk to, that trait fit right in.

He hesitated, then said, “How do you know it’s not…?” The word broken was implied; he cocked his head to the side, waiting.

Crap, I was pissed, again! I knew my eyes were glowing cause Martin was starting to lean away. “Because, damn it! I wanted him hurt... But not... Not broken. And I know.... I have... Shit... I have control over what I’m doing!” The words sounded ominous and confused even to me, but it was the best I could do. And it was the truth. I stared at Martin as evenly and honestly as I could.

I don’t know if it was the cussing, my attitude, the eyes mixed with my stammering, or that fact that I was a skinny little girl acting like a bad ass. Whatever it was… Martin exploded into laughter and it startled the hell out of me. I tensed like the laughter had punch me in the nose and that only made him laugh harder, doubled over, shaking. What-the–hell-was-so-f***ing-funny! No one ever laughed around me, let alone at me. I knew my eyes were glowing and wrinkled up the same way his had been. He was almost choking on it now. Holy crap! All that was missing was him pointing at me. Shit, if he started pointing he was getting a taste of what Henry got.

I waited a moment or two and he just continued. I sighed and shook my head saying, “Sit down, before you fall down.” The last person I remembered saying that was my mother. I wondered if it sounded the same coming from my lips as it had from hers. I was nostalgic remembering the smiling ethereal tone of her voice. I was not smiling and this didn’t feel all that funny.

Martin didn’t just sit, he plopped down hard on one of my little chairs. He smiled up at me. It made me want to smack him or run away, but I couldn’t decide which. So, I crossed my arms, leaned back against the door and stared until the rest of his shallow giggles finally stopped.

He was waiting for me to speak… “Glad to be so amusing.” Sarcasm, yet another talent I rarely got to use.
I was cold with remembering. My mother had laughed hard like that. She liked to laugh till it hurt, till tears came. I wished that could have been her gift to me. Her ghost felt so near and only her memories could leave me this cold in midsummer. I walked to the hearth and built the small up into a cone. Martin watched, but he kept his thoughts to himself. I took one small willowy stick in hand and drew five small shapes in the old ash. It looked like calligraphy, but it was enchantment. With each turn and twist of my wrist the wood began to smoke, more and more and with my last flourish I blow on the ashes; the kindling ignited in a blue and purple burst.

Martin’s voice was hushed, “I didn’t know your mother taught you the witching ways. I didn’t think you were old enough.” He was right to think it. My mother had died when I was twelve and it left me with no family.

“She had time enough to train me in most of the arts.” It was a moment before I added, “She started before my father died.” His eyes rose in surprise and I didn’t blame him. Papa had died when I was three. Chills crawled up my spine and down my arms, remembering.

I concentrated on feeding more wood to my little flames and I let the conversation die out.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Moments Remembered

Have you ever been lost in an ocean of trees,
Dark earth below a kaleidoscope of leaves?

Have you ever climbed the heights of a steep sloping hill,
Gazed out upon forever and felt your heart fill?

Have you ever ran down the path with arms open wide,
Jumping and laughing and lengthening your stride?

Have you ever laid you head by the river’s bend,
Floating, free thinking with no beginning or end?

Have you ever kissed the red roses like the butterflies do,
Enthralled by fragrance, textures, and a romantic hue?

Have you swung on the swing as high as you’d dare,
Watched the world swimming with wind caught in your hair?

Have you chased the tide as it returned to the sea,
And screamed with delight, feeling nothing but free?

Have you turned your eyes to the clouds soaring high,
And wished you had wings and a hawk’s shrill cry?

Have you conversed with the deer as they grazed nearby,
Whispered understanding through your tone and your sigh?

Have you walked through tall grass and observed your pace,
Marveled at your steps and your inherited grace?

Have you stood on a cliff and looked down from its shelf,
Heart in your throat while you laughed at fear herself?


Have you stared at the stars and shared your dreams,
Danced and twirled, while cloaked in moonbeams?

Have you stood as the rain poured over your skin,
Smiled up at God while he washed away your sin?

All of this is mine,
From my memories grace.
And these moments grand,
I will always chase.

I will tempt fate and follow this lead,
Then sparking, now blazing, this fire I’ll feed.

The hard way and high road is my adventures route,
And I will do far more before my ember dies out.





- Alexandria Englander-Tuttle


Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Pain in the Brain

So I was going through some old paperwork and found this Logic Quiz... One of my teachers gave it to me in college. It took a while, but I got there in the end. So, give it a shot and I'll post the answers in a couple of days. Enjoy!!




Logic Quiz

There are 5 houses, each a different color, inhabited by people of different nationalities. The people play different sports, have different pets, and like different beverages.

The Russian lives in the red house.
The Spaniard Owns a dog.
The person who lives in the green house drinks cola.
The Ukrainian drinks tea.
The green house is immediately to the right (your right) of the white house.
The basketball player owns a snake.
The soccer player lives in the first house on the left.
Milk is the favorite drink in the middle house.
The Egyptian lives in the first house on the left.
The person who plays softball lives in the house next to the person with the fox.
The soccer player lives in the house next to the house where the horse is kept.
The hockey player drinks orange juice.
The Japanese plays tennis.
The Egyptian lives next to the blue house.
One house is brown.

Who drinks water?
Who owns the zebra?



(Pretend the boxes below are houses)

Monday, August 9, 2010

Blessings to Count...

You might have received this email before (I know I have) but it always makes me feel extremely blessed! I hope you feel the same. Happy Monday! :D






If you could fit the entire population of the world into a village consisting of 100 people, maintaining the proportions of all the people living on Earth, that village would consist of:

57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 Americans (North, Central and South)
8 Africans

There would be:
52 women and 48 men
30 Caucasians and 70 non-Caucasians
30 Christians and 70 non-Christians
89 heterosexuals and 11 homosexuals

6 people would possess 59% of the wealth (They would all come from the USA)
80 would live in poverty
70 would be illiterate
50 would suffer from hunger and malnutrition
1 would be dying
1 would be being born
1 would own a computer
1 (YES, only one) would have a university degree

If we looked at the world in this way, the need for acceptance and understanding would be obvious. But, consider again the following:

If you woke up this morning in good health, you have more luck than one million people, who won’t live through the week.

If you have never experienced the horror of war, the solitude of prison, the pain of torture, were not close to death from starvation, then you are better off than 500 million people.

If you can go to your place of worship without fear that someone will assault or kill you, then you are luckier than 3 billion (that’s right) people.

If you have a full fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are wealthier than 75% of the world’s population.

If you currently have money in the bank, in your wallet and a few coins in your purse, you are one of 8 of the privileged few amongst the 100 people in the world.

If your parents are still alive and still married, you’re a rare individual.

And if you can read this you don’t comprise one of those 2 billion people who can’t.

SO…
Work like you don’t need the money.
Love like nobody has ever hurt you.
Dance like nobody is watching.
Sing like nobody is listening.
Live as if this was paradise on Earth.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Emerald Green with Envy

(I love peas, but this green-eyed monster is darker than that!) I’m SO Jealous it’s turning my brown eyes GREEN!! But actually, I’m also utterly excited!!! My Dad and Stepmom (Alias: Nestor & Althea) are tripping the life fantastic on their way to Cairo; a year from this fall. How insanely cool is that?!? (Again with the jealousy.) Anywho, it’s Friday and I thought I’d make this blog a bit of a present to the pair of them. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!


Islamic Cairo, Egypt
An amble through this overwhelming medieval microcosm, with what must be the greatest population density in the Middle East, is a remarkable passage through the Cairo of six or seven centuries ago. This ancient quarter of Cairo assails the senses, confounds, and confuses. Amid barely contained pandemonium, oddly coupled with both intense poverty and one of the world’s lowest crime rates, lies the legendary hospitality of the Egyptian people. Meanwhile, chickens, horses, and sheep walk the narrow potholed streets, further congested with men on donkey carts collecting garbage, itinerant street vendors, and people going about life as they always have. The dust and rubble offset the faded architectural grandeur of a city that was once the intellectual and cultural center of the Arab world.

Given a daunting number of sites, start at the spectacular 12th –century Citadel of Salah al-Din; its founder was known throughout Christendom as Saladin, the Crusaders’ chivalrous foe. Perched on a steep spur, this heavily fortified bastion offers a matchless panorama of Cairo’s minaret-punctuated skyline and endless sprawl. The holiest and most awe-inspiring of the city’s places of worship is 9th-century Mosque of Ibn Tulun, notable for both its grand scale and extreme simplicity. The Islamic Art Museum’s Collection, the most extensive of its kind in Egypt, spans the 7th to 19th centuries. The Khan el-Khalili’s maze of bazaars is another mind-boggler for its sheer size alone.


Museum of Egyptian Antiquities, Cairo, Egypt
Most tout groups head straight upstairs for the gallery dedicated to the mind-boggling treasures of boy-king Tutankhamen. Others make a beeline for the mummy room, only recently reopened after fifteen years.

Regardless of your viewing strategy, the museum houses such an unparalleled collection of treasures that, allowing just one minute to examine each of its 136,000 pharaonic artifacts, it would take a visitor nine months to see it all. Another astounding 40,000 items remain crated in the basement, evidence of the chronic space shortage that has plagued Egypt’s greatest museum since it was founded in 1858. A visit here is overwhelming, to say the least; so are the crowds. After viewing the 1,700 objects unearthed in 1922 in the small tomb of the relatively insignificant pharaoh Tut and the two rooms of twenty-seven mummified royal pharaohs and their queens, the rest of the museum’s exhibits can seem lackluster.



Khan el-Khalili, Cairo, Egypt
Noisy, wonderful, chaotic, and awash with the smells of spices, incense, and leather, Khan el-Khalili is one of the world’s great bazaars – a sprawling, confusing, enclosed city-within-a-city first set up as a caravansary in 1382. Everyone here wants your business, your money, your time for a glass of mint tea. Whether you’re shopping or not, bypass the tiny stalls and workshops on the most trammeled pathways (which have become highly touristed) and penetrate deep where Cairenes still shop for their dowries, cotton galabiyas, fezzes, and sheehas, or hooka water pipes. This is the place to practice your haggling technique, but don’t expect to win against merchants with thousands of years of practice in their blood. Almost everything is available here. Mini bazaars within the bazaar specialize in such goods as carpets, gold, fabrics, perfume, and cosmetics.


The Great Pyramids of Giza, Cairo, Egypt
Since their logic-defying construction, the Pyramids at Giza have embodied antiquity, mystery – and far-fetched speculation. “From the summit of these monuments,” cried Napoleon, “forty centuries look upon you!”

The pyramids are the only wonder of the ancient world that have survived nearly intact. The funerary Great Pyramid of Cheops (or Khufu) is the oldest at Giza and largest in the world, built circa 2500 B.C. with some 2.3 million limestone blocks, weighing an average 2.75 tons each, and moved by a force of around 20,000 men. Two smaller pyramids nearby belonged to Cheops’s son and grandson. The Sphinx (Abu ‘l-Hol, “Father of Terror”) sits nearby, a strange figure with a lion’s body, a human face, and a royal beard.

All information was referenced from Patricia Shultz’s 1,000 Places to See Before You Die. Published by: Workman Publishing company, Inc, Copy written 2003 by Patricia Shultz. (Pages 345-348)

If you aren’t as jealous as I am… there is something very wrong with you!

P.S. Like I said last night, Nestor, if I don’t at lease get a tee-shirt I’m gonna be peevish. ;D

Enjoy your weekend all!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Time to give up the ghost…

I have this list of my very favorite blogs and I check on them as often as I can. Anywho, I love Laurell K. Hamilton’s newest blog post! (8/3/10) Click here to read

So, what are you willing to give up? What am I willing to give up… forever?!? Forever is such a long time and cold turkey sucks (unless it’s on fresh french bread).

I’ll have to think about it and get back to you…

Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Bloody Knuckles


Okay so maybe I did have to bust Henry in the jaw!

I held my hands under the cool clean water, left hand cradling the right. Damn it hurt, but fat chance that anyone else would see me flinch. I was starting to think my reputation was the only thing keeping me alive.

When I had walked into camp at twilight Henry had been surrounded by his usual crowd of idiots. They were laughing loud enough to hear at the other end of the camp. But he stopped when I came into view. The crowd turned and followed his gaze, swallowing their laughter. He paled when I met his eyes; I smiled. I guess it wasn’t a joke. He really though I wouldn’t make it back.

I didn’t leave him anytime to say something defensive. I drew my arm back and cold cocked his dumb ass. He went down hard and I straightened; my eyes searching the crowd for an aggressor. I worked hard not to flex my hand while it zinged with pain. The crowd was silent, not a word spoken. As my eye’s searched them they stagger back. Spooked.

When Henry started to twitch on the ground I glanced down at him. He'd rolled over and put his hand lightly to the left side of his face. His eyes were twisted with rage and embarrassment. I didn’t blame him. He stayed as he was and I gave him the deadliest stare I could muster. He didn’t recoil or look away; stupid, just plain stupid. But I didn’t say anything; I just turned and walked away. No one tried to stop me. Bully for them.

I was pissed… once again.

I walked slowly, shoulders back, chin down, stride strong. I was expecting the Choose, our leaders, to stop me or say something, to chastise me. No one stopped me. I made my way to my hutch.

My home was small, clean, and so pretty to look at. The back was precariously close to a tall oak tree; whose canopy blossomed over my little dwelling like a second roof. Wild flowers had claimed most of the mossy siding, glowing with color and smelling lovely. The door was rectangular, with ornate carvings, painted an unusual clay red color. It was faded and overgrown, but it was mine.

I walk forward remembering one of the only memories I had of my father. He was carving the ornate designs while it hung in the sunlight. My mother stood nearby drawing pictures in the sandy ground teaching me what they meant. I stroked my finger through a grove he’d cut his finger making. I smiled while I pulled the door wide. Kind as he'd been... he would have punched Henry too.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The lies cut and the truth burns…

When I was born I was innocent,
When a child, ignorant,
When a teen, arrogant,
When grown, emphatic,
Today… fallible,
Tomorrow… idyllic,
But forever… forever, I will be enlightened.

Raw... just doesn't cover what my heart feels today. The world is dimmer... darker. The dawn didn't smell as sweet and the bird song was just a daydream's mist. The optimist in me is bleeding... poor thing. Red eyes, slashed hands, and bruises like collar of dark flowers, decorations above the heart.

Wish I could tell her that by this evening, everything will be rosy, clean, and bright. But, those words would paper-cut my lips and taste a lie on my tongue. I wish I could hold her to me and tell her that it's not the end of the world, remind her that we've seen worse, felt worse. But, those words, the truth, would scorch from the inside out; leave the stench of burnt flesh in my nose.

So, if the lies cut and the truth burns... silence. Maybe, silence is safest. Stillness. Serenity. Silence.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, “I just don’t care”.

Sister mine, Alias: Nyx… You have such lovely taste in music!

A few months back Nyx called to share this beautiful song with me. She was insistent that I listen to it over the phone. (That never really works, but I humored her.) I promised to look it up on the internet as soon as I could. I did and of course I loved it, I ran out and bought the CD. Now the CD is wonderful, but it's this song that I fall more and more in love with each time I hear it.

“It’s only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before the lightning, the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you’re not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?”

Glitter in the Air - Pink - Track 12 - Fun House

So sweet and mild, but it makes me want to shout: Capture the Moment, Seize the Day, Color Outside the Lines, and Ripe the Damn Band-Aid OFF! Do it now… enjoy everything, NOT because it could be gone by tomorrow. Do it for the rush, the high, the glory! Do it because you wanted to and because you could. Do it so when you look back at your adventures, you’ll see a path all your own. A path amid a field of velvet wildflowers, a trail through the darkest forest, and passage between the stars.

You’ll never be here, in this moment, in this time, it this body… again.

Lasso the moon and stars and pull that rope tight, because I promise, we’ve all felt this way.