A Revelation

Holy Wow! For those of you who aren’t religious… take it from me… the book of Revelations is nuts! I tend to be more of a spiritual person, than a religious person, so I haven’t read the bible cover to cover. But, to start with Revelations… that might not have been the smartest idea I ever had. I’m a little… NOPE, strike that… I’m a lot more nervous of God now!

For those of you who like being read to as much as I do… Check the following reading of The Book of Revelations. It's in nine segments and I really enjoyed it. :)

Rev. 21 [4] And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

Rev. 22 [3] And there shall be no more curse: but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it; and his servants shall serve him:[4] And they shall see his face; and his name shall be in their foreheads.[5] And there shall be no night there; and they need no candle, neither light of the sun; for the Lord God giveth them light: and they shall reign forever and ever.

Well maybe I shouldn’t be that nervous after all! - Surely I come quickly. Amen

If I Could...

These hours are filled with pain for so many people that I love. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you find this poem the comfort it is meant to be.

Sorrows come and sorrows go,
But it’s we who reap the crops they sow.

The leaving does not look behind,
For the mourning it would always find.

But we remain, the mood of black,
For the soul that will not be coming back.

We bow our heads and start to pray,
The price of lonely, our tears to pay.

But, to be one away and watch you fall,
Is my tragic climb up a crimson wall.

I would bear this for you, if I could,
But in misfortune there is promised good.

The horizon glows if you dare to look,
Because God does not live in a Holy book.

He is in the moon’s burning light,
A comfort though this darkest night.

This gift is given when your hope is lost,
It is given freely and without cost.

For you are supported by a sacred host,
The Father, Son, and The Holy Ghost.

- Alexandria Englander-Tuttle

The Golden Soldier

This song is… amazing.

“We’ll have the days we break,
And we’ll have the scars to prove it,
We’ll have the bonds that we save,
But we’ll have the heart not to lose it.

For all of the times we’ve stopped,
For all of the things I’m not.

We put one foot in front of the other,
We move like we ain’t got no other,
We go when we go,
We’re marching on.”

Marchin On – OneRepublic – Waking Up - Track 10



I absolutely love this song! (This video is pretty fantastic too!) It's just hard to describe my feelings. It’s beautiful, but… I feel… gritty when I listen to it.

Just like everyone else I have a past full of pitfalls… things that were disastrous, catastrophic, and just plain tragic. But the one thing I still cling to is… I NEVER GAVE UP. I’m a… serve you your own ass... card carrying... grade A... FIGHTER!

Maybe it’s the artist in me? Maybe I’m just masochistic! But I keep all those awful feelings just as close as I keep all the good. It’s ALL still there. The Good, The Bad, and The Very Ugly. It’s all still there changing me, molding me, reminding me what it means to be here... to be me.

Where I was wrong, Where I was right,
Where the world changed, over-night.

This song feels like a battle cry to that dented part of me. That part that’s just too damn stubborn to lie down and die. That steely part that turns into the storm… That granite part that laughs when the sky starts raining down… That resolute part of me, that spreads golden wings when it all falls apart.

With all of the wars I fought
And so many things I’m not...
With what I have,
I'll promise you that,
I’m Marchin On!

The lies cut and the truth burns…

When I was born I was innocent,

When a child, ignorant,

When a teen, arrogant,

When grown, emphatic,

Today… fallible,

Tomorrow… idyllic,

But forever… forever, I will be enlightened.

Raw... just doesn't cover what my heart feels today. The world is dimmer... darker. The dawn didn't smell as sweet and the bird song was just a daydream's mist. The optimist in me is bleeding... poor thing. Red eyes, slashed hands, and bruises like collar of dark flowers, decorations above the heart.

Wish I could tell her that by this evening, everything will be rosy, clean, and bright. But, those words would paper-cut my lips and taste a lie on my tongue. I wish I could hold her to me and tell her that it's not the end of the world, remind her that we've seen worse, felt worse. But, those words, the truth, would scorch from the inside out; leave the stench of burnt flesh in my nose.

So, if the lies cut and the truth burns... silence. Maybe, silence is safest. Stillness. Serenity. Silence.