Is it over yet?

Need I say more?

I'm having a day!

I’m having a crazy day... I want to run and hold very, very still. I want to scream till it hurts, then turn and whisper secrets. I want to hide in a dark hole and strut through a huge crowd.

I’m having a bewildering, frustrating, confusing, and incredibly maddening day.

I hope yours is better.

My Face Hurts From Smiling…

I'm so proud of me today! I'm tired (again) but soooo proud.

As an undiagnosed dyslexic I tend to read things very slowly. I also tend to reread a lot of things to make certain that I read a sentence or paragraph correctly. (That slows me down even further!) I’ve spent years being jealous of people who could pick up a book and read it quick as a flash. (Mostly you Alias: Phrixus, you and your genius ways!! Not only can you pick up a damn book and read it faster than anyone I know… You could do a five page book report, with quotes and all, without the book... From Memory. NOT THE KIND OF PERFORMANCE I LIKE FOLLOWING AS THE SECOND CHILD!!!)

“O yeah, it only took me a day or so to read that…” (That phrase usually makes me want to scream!)

I‘ve spent my life in the shadow of brilliant readers. First, I was just trying to keep up… then I was trying to be just as wickedly clever… but finally, now, I’m just striving to attain their intellectual status. Sucks when 99.999% of you closest relatives are the smartest people you’ve ever met! (And I’ve met a lot of people! (Hell, I married one of the only people I’ve ever known that could rival Phrixus in intelligence. (I’m a glutton for punishment!)))

But, for the last four years I’ve been retraining myself to except me for me. To not care how I measure up against others, but how I measure in personal growth and change. Now, I'm aware of how I feel, what I want, and who I want to be! …I want to be a person who says, “That book was great and it only took me a day or so to read it.”

Well folks, on Tuesday I picked up a book I’ve been waiting to read for the last six months. It's of the paranormal genre and is 430 pages long.

- I started reading at 6:30 pm Tuesday
- I stopped at 12:00 am
- I started reading again at 5:30 pm Wednesday
- I stopped for and hour to eat dinner with Damon
- And... at 2:00 am this morning… I FINISHED THE BOOK!

I’m the person I want to be! I can honestly say “I read that (430 page) book in a day or so and it was wonderful!” (Actually it was more like 13 hours, but who’s counting!!) My point is, I measure up to where I want to be! Today, I’m proud not just of me, but to be me!

Cue glowing smile!

Bad Night's Sleep...

So... Alias: Damon had a "Bros Night" last night and this little woman has grievances:

1. Beer mixed with sleep breath is soooo not attractive (No morning kiss for you!)
2. The snoring was unbelievably loud (I think my eardrums bled a little!)
3. The random grunts and chaotic twitching (Kept me awake till well past 11:30.)

So… today I’m a tired, pissy, slightly less optimistic writer, who is trying to find the will to keep her eyelids up and her mind focused. (O, Hell I'd settle for functioning!) However, at least I’m not married to this Guy! (You have to follow this link!! This Guy, Adam, talks in his sleep and his wife records his little pearls of wisdom so we can all enjoy! The first time I visited I laughed so hard I choked!)

Consider my blessings counted! And Thanks Honey for keeping the your narcoleptic verbal diarrhea an internal dialog.

Moments Remembered

Have you ever been lost in an ocean of trees,
Dark earth below a kaleidoscope of leaves?

Have you ever climbed the heights of a steep sloping hill,
Gazed out upon forever and felt your heart fill?

Have you ever ran down the path with arms open wide,
Jumping and laughing and lengthening your stride?

Have you ever laid you head by the river’s bend,
Floating, free thinking with no beginning or end?

Have you ever kissed the red roses like the butterflies do,
Enthralled by fragrance, textures, and a romantic hue?

Have you swung on the swing as high as you’d dare,
Watched the world swimming with wind caught in your hair?

Have you chased the tide as it returned to the sea,
And screamed with delight, feeling nothing but free?

Have you turned your eyes to the clouds soaring high,
And wished you had wings and a hawk’s shrill cry?

Have you conversed with the deer as they grazed nearby,
Whispered understanding through your tone and your sigh?

Have you walked through tall grass and observed your pace,
Marveled at your steps and your inherited grace?

Have you stood on a cliff and looked down from its shelf,
Heart in your throat while you laughed at fear herself?

Have you stared at the stars and shared your dreams,
Danced and twirled, while cloaked in moonbeams?

Have you stood as the rain poured over your skin,
Smiled up at God while he washed away your sin?

All of this is mine,
From my memories grace.
And these moments grand,
I will always chase.

I will tempt fate and follow this lead,
Then sparking, now blazing, this fire I’ll feed.

The hard way and high road is my adventures route,
And I will do far more before my ember dies out.

- Alexandria Englander-Tuttle

Time to give up the ghost…

I have this list of my very favorite blogs and I check on them as often as I can. Anywho, I love Laurell K. Hamilton’s newest blog post! (8/3/10) Click here to read

So, what are you willing to give up? What am I willing to give up… forever?!? Forever is such a long time and cold turkey sucks (unless it’s on fresh french bread).

I’ll have to think about it and get back to you…

Happy Thursday!

Sleep... zzZzzZzz, I'M UP!

I know EXACTLY how he feels!

Why does Tuesday feel like it's farther away from Saturday (of the coming weekend) than a Monday? Even a Monday morning is more buoyant than Tuesday. Ahh, Tuesday you are the bane of my existence and I wish I could sleep through your droning pace, your snails race, your brightly lying condescending face! Ha Ha, I think I feel a poem coming on...

O, the weary Tuesday dawns,
Rain or shine, I’ve contagious yawns!

I stumble through the morning light,
Chipper, chirpy, smiling bright.

But inside I’m still half asleep,
Dreaming, dozing, sighing deep.

I’m half awake with work to do,
Droopy eyed, can I make it through?

O the dreams I’ll dream tonight,
I’ll curl up warm, hold my pillow tight.

But for now I’ll stretch, eyes open wide,
Cause, If I fall asleep they’ll tan my hide!

Not really! I'm actually one of those few people that love their jobs and the people I work with. My co-workers would definitely point and laugh, I'd never live it down (the taunting would last forever), but I wouldn't be in trouble. :) Life is GOOD!

Enjoy your Tuesday All!